It was past 3 am and I had just completed reading Turning Pro by Steven Pressfield. For me this book was a confirmation of self actualization. I have been struggling as my "amateur" self for the past year. Successful in my pursuit of my shadow life, but failing miserably in my true purpose. I now understand that "In [my] shadow life [I have pursued] false objects and act upon inverted ambitions." I have degrees and certifications. I've achieved life "milestones" in that shadow life while missing the mark repeatedly of my true life. I have tried to make myself conform to the norm of being good or interested in a niche when the reality is that I have multiple passions and I'm good at a lot of things. To be truly fulfilled in this life I have to stop trying to suppress/ignore parts of me for what I "believe" is the greater good. I am many things and I will be all those things regardless of the perceptions of success in any of those areas. I am a teacher. I am a gardener. I am a "tech head." I am a coach. I am a glam woman. I am a learner. I am a professional.
Join me in the next post as I discuss my perceptions of fear.
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